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Keep Moving Forward

Hey everyone!

I’m sure we’ve all had those moments that make us stop and realize that our plans are not actually working. Whether it be a plan to be somewhere on time and you’re late, a plan to be successful on a particular task, but you were not, or even something as big as deciding to be with someone romantically, and have that not work out. Life throws us unexpected obstacles all the time, but it’s important to keep moving forward. Even if you took two steps forward, and then one back, you’re still a step ahead of where you would have been. Even if it doesn’t feel like you’re making the kind of progress you initially desired, keep moving forward. In moving forward, we are gauranteed the reward of eventual satisfaction in knowing we did our best.

In my darkest moments, I do my best to remind myself that if I keep pushing, I will reach a goal that even if not as satisfactory as the goal I was reaching for, I will in fact still reach a goal, something to be proud of and something to boost my confidence. When I was first admitted I was placed on a form, which does not allow you to leave the ward. I felt trapped, anxious, and hopeless. But in an effort to keep moving forward, I didn’t let that discourage me from proving to the doctors that I could be trusted enough to make attempts to continue my treatment through my own will. And within a few days, my form was cancelled. Now a voluntary patient, I’ve been looking at my situation and feeling hopeless. I don’t know when I’ll get to go home, I cannot express myself musically (which has always been a form of therapy for me), and I miss my family. I could very easily sleep the days away, try to escape my situation by entering dreamland. But instead, I am working with the doctors and nurses to develop plans to better my life so that I can get back to being at home, and yet living a life that is better than where I was at before this admission.

As a result of all this planning I have been doing, I have decided to write lyrics/poetry in hospital to express myself and find a place for them in some future songs I write. I have decided to reach out and connect with other musicians. I am practicing singing everyday, and all of these things have got me feeling more motivated. I am moving forward, even in the face of darkness and fear.

I wanted to share a poem with you that I wrote very recently, and which clearly depicts the way in which I feel:

A fragile heart in despair
A loving heart made to care
Was not enough to heal her soul
So ending life became her goal
He tried and tried to make her see
All his love and what she could be
She could do what she wanted to
If only she stopped feeling blue
And so he carved his heart from his chest
So he could put her thoughts to rest
He gave her his kind, loving, and pure heart
Though he knew he would have to part
Without a heart to keep him alive
He knew that he could not survive
He accepted death and went away
But only so that she could stay
With him gone this new heart of hers grew cold
Because she knew she’d never grow old
With the man that gave his life for her
And so her thoughts began to stir
Her blues came back with full force
And death began to take it’s course
Now as free spirits their hearts are one
Their love can never be outdone
Because he gave his heart to her
She realized he was her only cure

Talk soon!

sam.

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